August 26, 2012
Summer 2012: relationships

This summer turned out to be a lot different than I expected.

I lost my love, my best friend, my everything. She understood my soul. Painted it in colors I didn’t know existed. I was in love with her. So very much in love with her that I wrote poems about her. And I really don’t like writing love poems. I never told her that I heard God in her heartbeat, saw Him in the strands of her hair. I never told her that I was in love with her. She never told me either. But we knew. Writers have this hidden way of communicating and understanding. We read between the lines of each other’s words. We had so much potential for an intensely romantic relationship beyond our wildest dreams. But we’re not talking. I don’t know when we’ll talk again. Honestly, I don’t know if we will ever want to talk to the other again. How many ways can we break each other’s hearts before there’s nothing left but dust? But we’ve always had a way of finding each other and mending our friendship. If we’re meant to be in each other’s lives, it’ll happen.

So then I had this string of rebounds which included flirting with everyone, talking to a bunch of people at the same time, and a few potentially dangerous situations (when I rebound, I rebound hard). And through that rebounding phase I met someone who has an amazing mind and lovely legs xD So I stopped talking to everyone and focused on her. She likes musicals, cartoons, and Andrea Gibson, which is GREAT! I refuse to be sucked into Pretty Little Liars, though. But I also refuse to be sucked into One Direction and now I own the DVD and CD. But I like her and she’s great. And I should her kissed her yesterday but then there’s that thing with consent and asking to kiss is really weird and I’m starting to ramble. And I do want to be with her but I didn’t ask her about dating yesterday because we haven’t kissed and now I won’t see her until November. And one of the reasons I’m not talking to the girl from the first paragraph anymore was because of a thing about meeting people on tumblr and long distance relationships. So I’m extra nervous about negotiating a long distance relationship with someone I met on tumblr. Sigh. But girlfriend or good friend, she’s a keeper.

(also, I’m starting to wonder if I have a thing for girls from Connecticut because this is ridiculous. But maybe two girls isn’t enough for a trend?)

  1. earth2esha said: I love reading about your love life
  2. gardenfulloflavender posted this